BMA Contemporary Wing Grand Re-Opening

Experimental Fashion Show - This photo is not from the show I saw but these costumes were in it. Maybe the photo is from the night before. They sure looked better in the dark. Below is one I took with my crappy camera.

1st Orioles Game of 2012

We wupped'em - 10 to 6.

Cal Ripken Throwing Out The First Pitch - From The Baltimore Sun

From ESPN/MLB

BALTIMORE -- Adam Jones had heard tales about how Camden Yards used to be when the place was packed and the Orioles were in a pennant race. With one dramatic swing of the bat, Jones found out for himself just how crazy the place can get.

Jones hit the first of Baltimore's three home runs in a wild eighth inning, and the Orioles climbed back into a first-place tie with the Yankees in the AL East by defeating New York 10-6 Thursday night before a euphoric sellout crowd.

Mark Reynolds had two of Baltimore's season-high six home runs. Matt Wieters and Robert Andino also connected for the Orioles, who have won 10 of 13 -- a run that includes three of four over New York. Jones' leadoff homer in the eighth off David Robertson (1-6) put Baltimore ahead 7-6 after the Yankees rallied from a five-run deficit in the top half.

"I've always asked our trainer, Richie Bancells, how loud can this place get? I always asked that," Jones said. "After I hit that home run, he came up to me and said, 'That's how loud this place can get.' " Jones has hit many a game-winning home run, but none with the stakes so high."That's the biggest hit I've ever had in my life. Everything else up to this point has been leading up to this," he said. Wieters followed with a single and Reynolds hit a drive into the left-field seats. Chris Davisthen slammed the first pitch from Boone Logan over the right-field wall.

After trailing the Yankees by 10 games on July 18, the surging Orioles pulled even Tuesday, then dropped a game back on Wednesday before taking the opener of this important four-game series."They are playing with a lot of confidence right now," New York's Alex Rodriguez said. "You have to tip your hat to Baltimore."

Reynolds, who also went deep in the sixth, has homered in three straight games and has eight long balls in his last seven, including two in each of the three wins against New York. With Reynolds leading the way, the Orioles hit a half-dozen home runs in a game for the first time since Aug. 28, 2007, against Tampa Bay.

Baltimore has played several significant games in September in recent years, but this is the first time since 1997 that the Orioles have been in the hunt for a playoff berth. The fans reacted accordingly, cheering from the first pitch to the very end."You couldn't ask for better," manager Buck Showalter said. "A special environment. Really appreciative. It helped. It was a real difference-maker for us."

The Yankees always attract huge crowds, but this time an estimated 90 percent of those in attendance were cheering for the home team. The full house and the boisterous orange-clad fans conjured memories of a time long ago, when Baltimore made two straight playoff appearances in 1996-97 prior to a run of 14 consecutive losing seasons."It looked like a big tangerine," Jones said. "I liked that."

New York trailed 6-1 in the eighth before mounting a comeback fueled by four walks. After Alex Rodriguez hit an RBI double and CurtisGranderson singled in a run, the Yankees put runners on second and third with two outs. The fans rose to their feet in anticipation afterPedro Strop prepared to throw a 1-2 pitch to Russell Martin, but Strop ultimately issued a walk to load the bases for pinch-hitter Chris Dickerson, who drew a four-pitch walk to make it 6-4.Ichiro Suzuki followed with his third hit, a two-run single, before Darren O'Day (7-1) got the final out.

Yankees manager Joe Girardi derived little satisfaction from the comeback."When you're playing a team for first place, a loss is a loss," he said. "We swung the bats extremely well, but we didn't pitch well tonight."

Orioles starter Jason Hammel gave up one run and six hits in five-plus innings in his first outing since going on the disabled list in mid-July. The right-hander took a line drive by Robinson Canooff his elbow in the fourth, but stayed in the game.After Hammel warmed up the rowdy fans with a 1-2-3 first, three straight singles against David Phelps in the bottom half produced a run before Wieters hit an opposite-field, three-run drive to left for a 4-0 lead. It was his 19th home run of the season and the first since he connected off Phelps on Saturday.

New York got a run in the fourth on Cano's hit off Hammel's arm and an RBI single by Granderson. In the Baltimore half, Andino hit his career-high sixth home run to make it 5-1.Reynolds made it 6-1 with a solo shot off Joba Chamberlain.

Game notes

On the 17th anniversary of the day Cal Ripken Jr. broke Lou Gehrig's mark of consecutive games played, the Orioles unveiled a statue of the Iron Man in the picnic area beyond the center-field wall. Ripken is the fifth of Baltimore's six Hall of Fame stars to be so honored this season; the last will be Brooks Robinson. Baltimore improved to 8-7 against New York this season. The Orioles will send rookie Wei-Yin Chen to the mound Friday night and the 

Yankees will start Phil Hughes.

1st Night at the Bengies 2012

Matthew and I went to the Bengies on the day before the 4th of July (a Tuesday). We saw "Men In Black 3" and "The Amazing Spiderman". They were both good but I thought "Men In Black 3" was better, really funny. Before the show, "D" talked about the lawsuit he recently won against the Royal Farms store across the street. If the verdict stands, he's going to build a wall to block out the light.

Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day

NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manhattan's Trump Tower to start the day.

According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function.

"God, look at this thing," said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. "Pitiful."

Trump, who in just over an hour would be appearing on the morning show Fox And Friends to assert that the president of the United States was not an American citizen, is said to have grasped the bulb of his penis with his thumb and forefinger and stretched the organ to its full 3-inch length before letting it go and leaving it to loll on an unruly tangle of mostly gray pubic hair. Noticing the pronounced droop of his scrotum, Trump glumly cupped his testicles in his hand and lifted them several inches until they reached the approximate height at which they had hung in his youth and even into early middle age.

At this point, Trump is purported to have released the heavily crinkled pouch and sighed deeply.

"What the hell happened?" said Trump, who appeared to receive no reassurance by swiveling and viewing his shrunken penis in profile. "It's just…dead."

Sources confirmed Trump then received a phone call from an Associated Press reporter asking him to respond to charges that he was a "blowhard" and a "bully," allegations Trump managed to address despite his preoccupation with the condition of his sexual organ.

"I'm rich and famous, and everyone wants to be me," Trump told the caller, all the while struggling to recall the last time he was able to achieve even a partial erection. "That doesn't make me a bully. That just makes me better than most people."

"There's never been a success story like mine in the history of America," continued Trump, who briefly tipped the phone away from his mouth as he licked his palm and began tugging on his penis with a loose fist. "I'm a phenomenon, and I don't care who knows it—of course, everyone already does."

Upon disconnecting, Trump continued to stroke vigorously for three full minutes before giving up in exhaustion.

Shortly thereafter, Trump reportedly turned his attention to the remainder of his body, miserably noting in his reflection the complete absence of muscle tone in his arms, the vast network of wrinkles on his face that showed through despite a freshly applied layer of bronzer, and the loose flesh on his neck, which he pulled taut several times with his thumbs. According to sources, Trump then attempted to shake free of his melancholy by rising to his toes in a boxing stance and pantomiming a series of punch combinations, an effort that quickly embarrassed him and intensified his gloom.

"Sixty-six years old," said Trump, who has an estimated fortune of $2.9 billion. "What's 70 going to look like? And 75? What the hell am I gonna do then?"

Gazing over at the clothes neatly laid out on his bed, Trump added, "Goddamn it."

Get In The Cage

2010 Photos Online

2010 Photos Pt.1

2010 Photos Pt.2

Homesick Kid On Sleepover Needs To Just Tough It The Fuck Out

The homesick Thompson, who needs his bottle because he misses mommy and daddy. Fuckin wuss.

MEDFORD, OR—Considering that everyone else at Kevin Brown's sleepover party is having a great time and not freaking out about missing their mommies and daddies, 10-year-old Brandon Thompson needs to just man up and tough it the fuck out because this homesick bullshit is getting ridiculous, sources reported Saturday.

The child, who clearly just excused himself from eating pizza to call his house for the third goddamn time, had seriously better get his shit together ASAP or else all his moping around is going to ruin everyone's night.

Sources confirmed Thompson will see his parents again in less than 10 hours, so he needs to stop acting like a little bitch and relax, for Christ's sake.

"It doesn't seem like Brandon is having as much fun as the rest of us," said fellow sleepover attendee Nate Pirolli, rightly sensing that it's high time for Thompson to sack it up and get with the fucking program already. "I don't understand. We let him be first player in Gears Of War 3 and Batman: Arkham City, but he was being really quiet the whole time."

"Isn't he excited that Kevin's parents are going to let us watch Superbad later? That's an R-rated movie," he continued while a forlorn Thompson behaved as if his parents lived in Romania as opposed to 15 goddamn minutes away.

Though all he's being asked to do is spend a few hours having a blast with six of his closest friends, Thompson chose to sit out of a pre-dinner basketball game like a little pansy, claiming his allergies were acting up when in reality his puffed-up eyes and runny nose were a direct result of 30 minutes of sobbing in the Browns' upstairs bathroom.

Thompson, who by all accounts needs to just deal with it and grow the fuck up pronto, has but one obligation the whole night—the mindblowingly simple task of falling asleep—after which he will wake up, it will be morning, and his dad will come pick him up and take him to soccer practice.

Reports confirm Ryan Fitzpatrick, 10, and Jeremy Hillen, 10, aren't homesick little pussies and are totally game to try and stay up all night.

"Brandon told me he had a stomach ache and that's why he didn't eat any cake," said Nicholas Gellman, neglecting to call Thompson out on his bullshit and tell him to just nut up and eat his friend's fucking birthday cake. "I hope he feels better in the morning, because I heard we're getting chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream."

"It's weird, he had the same problem at my sleepover party too," Gellman said of the little baby girl.

According to sources, the irony here is that Thompson spends lots of time away from his parents every single day when he goes to school, so he ought to be used to it. In fact, reports indicate his parents would both probably agree their son ought to take a step back, stop letting his irrational fears spiral out of control for a minute, and quickly reach down to double-check that he still has a set.

"I know this can be a tough age for some children to sleep over at their friend's houses," Brown's mother Debbie said. "But I do think it's important that kids venture outside their comfort zones and see for themselves that it's okay to spend the night away from home sometimes."

"I will say, though, that I hope he stops coming to talk to me in the kitchen and goes to play with the other boys," she continued. "I'm not his fucking mom."

As of 9 p.m., Thompson is making a big deal out of nothing, he's totally fine, and if he walks over to that phone to ask his parents to come pick him up instead of manning up for just one night he's going to regret it for the rest of his goddamn life.

And there he fucking goes.